Climbing up a steep part of Carlisle Boulevard, I noticed a driver filming me through his open window as the cars crept up to a light. Cool, whatever. Seconds later, I hear ‘BAM’. He ran into the car in front of him, plastic flying out on all sides .  I just kept moving.  

Albuquerque, 7 a.m. in July and it was already piss warm out. A mile out, I saw a lawn sprinkler on ahead and went to douse my cotton shirt in order to keep myself cool for another mile. I skated up over the sidewalk and walked into the grass.
I headed in chest high for a strategic wetting, holding my head back to keep my sunglasses dry. That’s when I saw a street denizen bouncing along towards Starbucks. She seemed very happy and carefree, as she rolled her hollow cheekboned head to some imaginary beat. She was floppy like an old-time cartoon character, but her head moved in a straight line like on a wire. Towards the green siren logo. I thought she must have got a hold of some substance and now wanted to follow up with a Tall Latte.

Spotting me, her mission changed and she turned and strided straight at me in the sprinkler. Within a few seconds she stepping onto the grass in the sprinkler and began dancing and laughing. Shit, she could have a weapon. I clambered my way back to the pavement, dug in my poles, and took off.

Southern Albuquerque, near the airport, University Avenue sweeps down and up through the Tijeras Arroyo, its half mile hills bordered with giant mosaic rattlesnakes. For blading, it’s too steep both ways –up and down. On my way down the northbound descent, braking and looking back, a car showed up behind me, so I braked and climbed on to the shoulder landscape area.
The late model Audi slowed and stopped, effectively blocking the 1-1/2 lane roadway. At first it looked like my friend John Badal in his spaceship Audi. The window came down and the guy said something like ‘You think you own the road, don’t you’ .
“What?” I looked to the right and started running. A Honda CRX was bearing down on him at 50 mph. The kid braked and downshifted, straddled the curb where I had been standing, then bumped back onto the road and came to a stop, plastic pieces hanging off his car.
He got out to inspect the damage and the Audi guy just took off.